


Never Fallen From Quite This High

by tomfoolery14



Series: Flufftober 2020 [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Boys In Love, M/M, Romantic Fluff, True Love, maybe canon divergent who knows, very unclear timeline but it's after magnus gets his magic back and he and alec are back together
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:14:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27172286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tomfoolery14/pseuds/tomfoolery14
Summary: Sitting on the patio of a Belgian patisserie with Magnus as the early afternoon sun caressed them, Alec had the passing thought that he must be the luckiest person in the world.Ever since his childhood, he had been aware of the concept that Nephilim only loved once. He wasn’t sure if he believed it, especially as he grew up into the understanding that, while perhaps his parents had been in love long ago, there was nothing much left. Even if it were true, though, it seemed rather irrelevant for him. Being in love was nothing but an indulgence, a luxury he couldn’t afford. He steeled himself to accept that a time would come when he would have to marry for duty and obligation, and that would be the end of his foray into matters of the heart. He would never be with another, and would never seek to.But then, in chaos and pandemonium, he found Magnus, and he started to question everything he had resigned himself to believing.Magnus’ fingers at the nape of his neck, curling into the short hairs at the base of his skull, made a current move through his blood like electricity. “You’ve got something on your mind, angel.”
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: Flufftober 2020 [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1955182
Comments: 4
Kudos: 85





	Never Fallen From Quite This High

**Author's Note:**

> written for flufftober - day 24: serendipity

Sitting on the patio of a Belgian patisserie with Magnus as the early afternoon sun caressed them, Alec had the passing thought that he must be the luckiest person in the world.

Ever since his childhood, he had been aware of the concept that Nephilim only loved once. He wasn’t sure if he believed it, especially as he grew up into the understanding that, while perhaps his parents had been in love long ago, there was nothing much left. Even if it were true, though, it seemed rather irrelevant for him. Being in love was nothing but an indulgence, a luxury he couldn’t afford. He steeled himself to accept that a time would come when he would have to marry for duty and obligation, and that would be the end of his foray into matters of the heart. He would never be with another, and would never seek to.

But then, in chaos and pandemonium, he found Magnus, and he started to question everything he had resigned himself to believing.

Magnus’ fingers at the nape of his neck, curling into the short hairs at the base of his skull, made a current move through his blood like electricity. “You’ve got something on your mind, angel.” It was an observation, rather than a question, and that didn’t come as a surprise. Magnus had always excelled at reading him, _seeing_ him, even when no one else could.

“Us.” He paused to take a bite of the soft _mattentaart_ he cradled gently in a napkin. “Have you ever heard the saying that nephilim only love once?”

Magnus nodded, looking out at the busy street contemplatively. “A few times.”

“I had heard it as a kid, and thought about it sometimes as a teenager when my world seemed small and suffocating. It seemed like nothing I would ever have to worry about, when marriage would be purely driven by obligation and responsibility.”

“It seems like quite the burden to hand to a child. Though I suppose it was an effective way to raise soldiers, taking away the autonomy of emotions.” Magnus’ answers were measured, giving Alec the space to speak comfortably. Maybe that was why it could feel so simple to tell Magnus what he felt when he couldn’t with anybody else.

“I told myself that emotions didn’t serve any real purpose, they were just distractions, so if destiny excluded me, what did it matter? I don’t know if I ever actually believed it, though…” Alec grinned wryly. “And then you came along and I realized that it would be a whole lot harder to pretend. I know now, though, that I was never really happy until you came along, Magnus.”

It probably shouldn’t have been so easy to admit, nor should it have filled his stomach with butterflies, but it was the truth. And the truth was no longer an indulgence to feel guilty for.

Magnus gave him a smile tinged with sorrow. “It’s truly cruel that you felt so small in the world for so long. If it could do anything, I am so sorry. To be stuck on the outside while life carries on around you, to believe that you don’t matter, is…”

The harrowing memory of Magnus’ admission that without his magic he felt as if he no longer mattered, or had a place, made Alec’s stomach turn.

“I hadn’t let myself get close to anyone in over a century before you,” Magnus continued after a moment, “and even across my extensive lifetime, it was rare to be loved by someone who made me feel what you do. I worried that if I were transparent about my history, though, that you couldn’t believe that to be true.”

“I never felt threatened by the past, Magnus. I was just temporarily…worried that I could never compete with so many memories.” Alec hated to feel vulnerable, and being in love was first and foremost being willing to be vulnerable. “Realizing what I felt for you brought back that thought, that I would only love one person, and how horrible would it be if the person I was destined to love didn’t feel the same for me.”

With a sympathetic hum deep in his throat, Magnus ran the pad of his thumb along Alec’s lower lip reverently. “Sweet thing.”

Alec couldn’t help the way his eyes closed for a beat, pressing into the comfort of Magnus hand. “Do you believe in destiny?”

“Well…for me, it’s a rather archaic concept. I prefer serendipity. Makes more sense, doesn’t it? The amalgamation of many choices coming together to make something unexpectedly extraordinary is something I would rather believe in.” He reached over and plucked a piece of tender pastry from Alec’s untouched _appelflap_.

“Hey!” Alec playfully protested. “I haven’t had any yet!”

“There’s plenty left,” Magnus dismissed, popping it into his mouth with a smile.

“You’ve had one before!”

Existing in this moment, being on this bench in this small Belgian town with the man he loved, Alec felt complete. There was peace to living that he had never known about, and could never have been shown without Magnus. His past was marred with so much self-hatred and self-doubt, and in retrospect, he could have sympathy for the boy he was then. There was relief in loving and being loved.

“I love you, Magnus,” rolled off Alec’s tongue unbidden, and without further ado, he kissed him. Magnus tasted of French vanilla coffee and powdered sugar, and Alec absently thought that this must be the best thing he’d ever tasted. One kiss turned to a plethora of languid, openmouthed kisses that made him forget that there was a world around them. For one beautiful moment, this was theirs alone. When they parted, he touched his forehead to Magnus’ tenderly, not wanting to leave this entwined moment just yet. “I know that, regardless of whether Nephilim are meant to only love once or not, I won’t ever truly love anyone but you.”

Magnus’ mouth turned up into a smile against Alec’s. “Immortality is tremendously complex, and I’ve made the mistake of thinking I understood what eternity with someone meant, but I look at you, and I see the place you’ve made in my life, and it seems so empty without you.”

“Serendipity,” Alec sighed contentedly, leaning against Magnus. The comforting weight of an arm over his shoulders, fingers brushing lightly along his collarbone, felt like falling in love with Magnus all over again. A thousand times he’d fallen, and he hoped it never stopped.

**Author's Note:**

> come find me on [tumblr](http://royaltybane.tumblr.com)


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